More than Enough.
Have you ever been in a room full of people and felt completely isolated & alone? You can’t help but think people are whispering about you because you’re the new person and no one knows who you are and what you are about. For me, that experience came really early in my childhood and has shaped who am I am today.
I grew up on a farm in Augusta, Georgia. I spent many hours sitting on the school bus for what felt like an eternity to get home, riding four-wheelers “out back”, racing up and down our gravel road with my sister and hunting with my now stepfather. Okay, maybe I only went hunting once... but it was because I quickly realized that you have to sit still and be quiet the ENTIRE time and I am not here for that. How on earth was I supposed to eat my Sour Patch Kids or my Salt and Vinegar chips without making noise? If you know me, you know that food is one of my top love languages so you can imagine how painful that hunting trip was. No thanks, not for me!
One day, after a long 45 minute bus ride home from school, my Mom told me we were moving to Indiana. Her family was from there and it was time to move to her hometown and be closer to her parents. We packed up everything we had and headed to the Midwest. Corn fields and Grippos, here we come!
New beginnings… or at least so I thought. I walked into my new elementary school for the very first time and realized I didn’t have all my friends from back home to sit with at lunch or to play with at recess. Most of the kids who were in my class had grown up together. Friendships were already established and I was the outsider. I found myself feeling insecure and unwanted by my new peers. It didn’t help that my skin tone was a few shades darker than everyone else’s. I quickly realized I would have to earn my acceptance. It was not going to come free!
As you can imagine, this path was a destructive one. One that would lead me to make bad decisions, pursue toxic relationships and grasp for my identity from other people. I wish that wasn’t part of my story but it is. Thankfully, Jesus promises to meet us where we are if we call on Him.
This 16 year old broken, fragile teenager knew I needed more than the world could ever offer me. I was in my own prison bound by lies of unworthiness and self-doubt. Have you ever been there? It can be a lonely place. The enemy wants you to think that you are the only person in the entire world struggling with those thoughts. Everyone else has their stuff together, but you on the other hand…. that couldn’t be further from the truth though. We are all struggling with something in our life. The question is will you be honest with someone you trust & call the darkness into the light? That’s what I had to do. I got real transparent with a trusted friend in my life and slowly but surely, chains started to fall off. This same friend brought me to church and it was there that I encountered the love of the Father and began to see myself the way He sees me. This is what my soul desperately needed.
I started caring less about WHO I was and started focusing on WHOSE I was.
Just a couple months later, I met the man of my dreams. Besides his sexy southern accent, I found someone whose faith in Jesus would carry me through the most challenging times. He loves the Lord fiercely and his character is a byproduct of that. He is a man of integrity, kind, respectful and caring. He made me a mommy to two of the cutest boys on the planet who have changed my life in the best way possible. Most importantly though, he’s taught me how to love outwardly and feel confident in how God created me. Someone I never thought I deserved, more than I could have ever imagined.
Did someone steal your confidence, friend? Maybe years ago like me or maybe just recently. I want to offer you some hope today. You can have a newfound confidence with Jesus’ help. Find a trusted friend & share the ugly parts of yourself. Ask them to pray for you, speak truth over you & hold you accountable to new ways. There’s healing there, I promise.
Most importantly though, replace the lies of the enemy with the truth of His word. Dust off that old Bible of yours and read for yourself what He says about you. Quit listening to the world and start listening to the Creator of the Universe. Jesus calls you WORTHY, CHOSEN and FORGIVEN. Take several seats, satan. Your lies no longer have authority here. From someone who learned it the hard way, you are more than enough!
“You know me inside and out, you know every bone in my body; You know exactly how I was made, bit by bit, how I was sculpted from nothing into something.” Psalm 139:15 (MSG)
